Meet Sara.
Sara will help you when you are under pressure, overloaded or being asked to do things you shouldn’t be doing.
Sara is a way of saying NO while still keeping on good terms with your colleagues.
Before I tell you more about SARA – a couple of health warnings:
- You only call her up when you have listened to and understood the “ask”
- She should only be in use when it is appropriate for you to say NO
- NO often means Yes but – it starts a negotiation of terms rather than slamming the door.
- Sometimes you just have to say Yes and no matter how clever The model reality bites.
I like to say yes. I’m an Amiable, a Steadiness DiSC profile. Call me ESFJ if MBTI is your thing. NO is toxic for me. However, strangely, I’m always accepting when people say NO to me. Why?
Research backs up the answer to this – if I know the reason I’m likely to accept it. Add to that feeling that you care and that you may even suggest other ways I can get to where I need to be and I come away from being rejected feeling good about you!
SARA works on that basis.
What does SARA stand for?
S is for Saying NO. You have to make it clear you are not an option. Be careful of leaving the door open “I’m not sure I can help” as an assertive asker will push.
A is for Acknowledge the validity of the request and the issue you are causing by pushing back. “I can see why you’ve come to me and I recognise this makes things tough for you”
R is the Reason. This maybe time pressure, conflict of interest, competence etc etc. Ultimately this is where any negotiation will focus.
A is for Alternatives – can you recommend another way, another person (this isn’t an excuse to pass the buck) or explore with them whether what they think they need really is what they need?
With all models you need to make it your own and rehearse.
It’s a very valuable skill in any situation, and I hope it works well for you!
We have many more tips on how to say “no!”. Perhaps this will whet your appetite!
Good luck!
David Solomon
Managing Director, Sun and Moon Training
@SunMoonDavid
Photo copyright: antonioguillem / 123RF Stock Photo